“Desperate Housewives” pulled off a fairly satisfying season finale Sunday night. The season's traditional new family mystery ended pretty well for all involved — it was bad guy Patrick Logan, not Angie, Danny or Nick Bolen, who blew up. Lynette delivered her baby safely, with serial killer Eddie's help. Bree signed over her company to blackmailer Sam with hardly any fuss, only to find Orson leaving her. (He was mad because she'd made him confess and do time for his hit-and-run accident involving Mike, who survived, but is protecting Andrew for his own accident involving Carlos' mother, who died.)
The show even threw in some juicy plots that will develop over time next year. Bree apparently confessed to Gaby that Andrew killed her mother-in-law, but we didn't see either woman's reaction. A longtime nurse at the local hospital died after revealing that a child living on Wisteria Lane was switched at birth. (MJ? Julie? One of Lynette's brood?)
And in the final cliffhanger scene, the man now renting Susan's house was revealed to be...Paul Young, Mary Alice's husband and the man at the center of the first "Housewives" mystery. It's unclear that this cliffhanger really made sense to some "Housewives" fans though. Many were mystified as to who the man was supposed to be, posting guesses on Twitter that included Dave Williams and even long-dead Rex Van De Kamp.
The main characters' plots this season have ranged from sharp and innovative to cliched and boring.
Susan and Mike: C+
Wow, was it really just a year ago that "Housewives" cliffhanger involved a veiled bride that could have been either Katherine or Susan? Never fear, "Housewives" loyalists knew it was time to get supposed supercouple Mike and Susan back together. This season, Susan and Mike's marriage dealt first with the Katherine situation, which was at least interesting, and then moved on to Mike's money woes, which was dull and nonsensical. But it did serve to get the Delfinos out of their house so Paul Young could move in. (Couldn't he just have bought the Bolen house instead?)
Angie and Nick: B
Still trying to envision the story meeting that led to Marc Cherry deciding "You know what my show needs? A violent eco-terrorist!" But Drea de Matteo brought some needed fire and Italian backbone to a very bland street. Patrick Logan never really had the menace he perhaps should have, but his death brought one of the most satisfying moments ever on this show. Logan made Angie make a bomb, then hid it in her home, letting her think it was in the car. He wanted to send Angie running back to save Danny and murder both mother and child. But as she ran out of the car, she revealed that she'd somehow turned the detonator itself into a bomb, and it was Patrick who left the show with a bang. Nice one. It's a shame Angie, Nick and Danny were seen at the bus station leaving town at the end of the show. She, at least, could have stuck around for a while.
Gaby and Carlos: B
Eva Longoria Parker still brings this often-somber show some most-needed levity, and this episode was no exception. Trying to pass herself off as Nick's wife to hospital staff, she brayed in a fake Italian accent: "I got sauce on the stove, ziti in the oven and a mustache that needs to get bleached!" She and Carlos didn't have a lot to do this season (fights over homeschooling and private school? cameos by real supermodels?), but it didn't really matter. Even when they're not front-and-center, the Solises smooth over the show and tie together the other families. The show would not be the same without them.
Bree and Orson: B+
Now this plot is just getting good. Were Bree and Karl really together at the beginning of the season? Susan's ex, the tough divorce lawyer, has been all but forgotten, and Kyle MacLachlan's Orson has muscled his way back into the plot. He's turned from a seeming psycho into a real source of comfort in just a few seasons time, and really came into his own in the finale. Few people can leave Bree speechless, especially when they're berating her for misbehavior, but he nailed it. Yes, Bree was applying a double standard to Andrew's hit-and-run vs. Orson's. He called her out, and she had no response. His loss will hit her hard, and her confession to Gaby will definitely play out in the fall.
Lynette and Tom: First half of season, C; second half, B+
Lynette can be hard to like on this show, as she's so often written to do nothing but berate her children and nag her husband. She lost one of her twins saving Celia from that weird Christmas plane crash that killed Karl and paralyzed Orson, but aside from that sad, serious moment, her pregnancy didn't feel like anything but "let's stick Lynette with yet one MORE kid." But she really came around once the Fairview serial strangler was revealed to be Eddie, and her desire to give him the mother he never had was sweet and heartfelt. (Remember, Lynette's own childhood was no "Brady Bunch" episode either.) Yes, it was a big ol' fat cliche that she went into labor just as she discovered Eddie's secret, but the baby was fine, she was fine, and Eddie even did the right thing. This Lynette needs to stay around.
